How to deal with failure!

You might have heard, or thought, that failure is a very relative term. Each one of us determines failure differently: there are those who are really difficult to please and those guys who seldom get "rocked" simply because they choose an investment-free, that is, a "rock-free" curriculum. There is, however, also a group in between: those who do take up responsibilities and do set risky goals, but don't react to "failure" the way most people do; or they just don't call it "failure" at all.  

I have developed a theory of my own. I've thought, over the course of my life and mostly during its rough patches, when thinking was one of the things that could really help me out, that our happiness, our purpose here on earth, and some say that these two things are one and the same, cannot possibly be influenced by failure. Just stop for a minute and imagine that. Imagine what it would mean, if every thing that went wrong, or differently than planned, was to divert us from our ultimate goal of being happy and thus having fullfilled our life's purpose. It would simply mean that the chances of making it, living a good life, would be tremendously small and that the vast majority of people out there would be condemned to an unworthy life; they would have no life. Their whole existence would amount to nothing. 

Can that really be? Can you accept that? 'Cause I can't! I can by no means be convinced that my life will be lost and unfulfilled, whatever its length. I cannot accept that the amount of money I will make, my beauty, the number of my friends, my boyfriend's looks or job success or anything else for that matter can determine whether I live, think, imagine laugh and dream. Now you will say "What if there is a war?" "What if every member of your family dies?" "What if you don't have food to eat?". And I will just answer: I will then have to think harder about it, in order to get it, that I am still perfectly free and able to be happy. 

Because happiness is not about failure itself. It is about how you deal with it. No one makes you cry over your weekend that was ruined because your husband was held up at work, because you went bankrupt, even because you have a year left to live. It is not necessary that you cry for the rest of this year. It is not necessary that you feel awful about it. Happiness and peace are an inner choice. An attitude. The difficult part usually is to adopt this attitude, since everybody and everything around us teaches us otherwise; from the movies that we see, to the TV-news that we watch, to the neighbor next door. 

The first but vital step is to make the realization. For some people this may be easy, because they have already made similar thoughts before or because they inherently have that tendency. For others, however, it may come as a shock. In any case, work it in your brain, say it, repeat it, discuss about it with others, let your subconcious absorb it. Take one step at a time. 

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